I clicked “buy” thinking I’d kill an afternoon.

You know the feeling – one of those “I’ll just poke around and see what this is” decisions.

Maybe I’d answer a couple of questions.

Then I’d move on with my life.

Big mistake.

Reason #1: I accidentally wrote a whole book

I thought I’d breeze through it.

Maybe write down one or two stories “for the kids.”

A few questions here.

A memory there.

Done.

Next thing I know, I’m staring at a 187-page autobiography.

I always thought I have nothing to tell. Apparently, I’m a legend.

Reason #2: My kids know my secrets

This one really backfired.

Ever since they read the book, my phone rings more often.

I can’t nap in the afternoon, ever. 

Now I get calls like:

“Wait. You tried to get on the olympic volleyball team?”
“Why did no one tell us about the geese farm?”
“Is this story… true?”

Yes.

Turns out I left out a few details over the years.

Reason #3: My grandkids think I’m a legend

They used to think I was just… around.

You know.

There.

Holding snacks or giving them juiceboxes.

Now they think I’m fascinating.

One of them said, “Grandpa, your life is like a movie.”

So I asked them to find a movie that was like my life.

As of now, they haven’t found anything similar. 

Reason #4: It didn’t make me ‘write’ anything

I avoided memoirs because I pictured:

• Blank pages
• Perfect grammar
• Sounding like a philosopher who drinks herbal tea

Meanwhile, my afternoons usually involve a beer and baseball on the TV.

Memowrite didn’t ask me to be poetic.

It asked things like:

“What was the most significant cultural event in your life?”

I typed:

“Christmas with my Grandma. Warm. Safe.”

Boom.

Chapter.

I wasn’t writing.

I was just talking to my screen.

The speech-to-text functionality had me walking around the house like a lunatic.  

Reason #5: My wife now wants one too

Huge error on my part.

Now my wife says things like,

“Well if you can write a book…”

I created a monster.

On the bright side, buying her a birthday gift just got a lot easier.

Reason #6: Everyone wants a copy

Printed copies are disappearing.

People are calling dibs.

I’m pretty sure I saw someone hide one behind the fridge.

I did not anticipate a family bidding war.

Here’s the Annoying Part

It was easy.

Memowrite asks 50 simple, surprisingly good questions.

You answer when you feel like it.

They turn it into a real, beautifully written book.

No blank page.

No pressure.

No “I’m not a writer” excuses.

My Only Real Regret…

… is not starting sooner.

Because now my family knows my stories. All of them.

And apparently… they like me more for it.

So yes – I regret buying Memowrite.

Mostly because now everyone wants their own memoir and somehow this is my fault.